New year same me

Good morning world,

It’s been a while since I wrote anything down for someone to see,

Life has grabbed me to a point of no return.

Here I sit typing away all of my thoughts.

One goal I had for this year,

                Take it slower- One of my goals for this year was to prioritize myself.

                                I currently have a bit of loans to pay off, which kind of sucks. It makes it hard for me to care for myself due to all the external stresses of my life. Trying to take care of me has become a hard thing to do after 4 years of school, homework and jobs that required a lot of the little time I had left. I let myself go caring about nothing more than the end goal. Now that, that chapter is closed I have to deal with the consequences of those chapters which involve the realization of the weight gain, loans, the balance of self-expression, and my ideals.

                So, here’s how I’m working on it:

                                Home cooked meals: I have learned to prepare 10 decent dishes that can be made quick and easy and I buy the best ingredients I can find within my budget. I started doing this in late November and it’s been really making me notice what I am putting into my body.

                                Making Doctors’ appointments: Yes, this is nerve reeking for me. I do have anxiety and nothing freaks me out more than the thought of something being wrong with me. But the faster you do it the faster you know and you don’t have to prolong the wait time.

                                Saving money before paying the bills: This is good way to think of things, pay yourself before anyone else. You need to put away something whether it’s a short-term goal like moving out like me, or just for your own future it’s a good idea for your own well-being to know you are responsible enough to put away something for yourself.

                                Cutting corners: Yes, being cheaper does make me just a little bit happier. For example, I use to buy a lot of different cleaning products, now I keep it to only 3, Windex, Clorox bleach, and an all-purpose cleaner. Also, I only buy clothes on sale, I wait to see if I really want it and if it’s still on my mind a week later I buy it.

                                Spending time with loved ones: On of the things I first started doing was opening up my schedule to those that made me happy and who’s company I enjoy even if it meant traveling to different states or taking some time to spend it alone with yourself and do nothing. It helps the mind get ready to interact with others.

               

                These are just somethings that can help you out this new years to be you but just a little happier.

Life in and out of college

Good afternoon to all,

I know it’s been a while since I have posted anything on my blog, but as I stated previously there has been a lot of changes not only in my personal life but now in my new Career girl style.

Recently I have found myself graduating college and moving into the workforce as a constructive and active citizen. Yet even though I expected this to happen I have been disillusioned and disappointed, a feeling that I didn’t expect to feel once I received a Baccalaureate degree. Yet it still lingered with me.

My goals, that I had wanted to accomplish has been set back due to college loans, my first “real job” being a soul-crusher, finding my sense of self that I lost in that time in college. I know it sounds weird because that’s when you’re expected to find yourself. Somehow, I found myself fighting to keep my individuality and progressing with so much work and stress on my shoulders.  

Let’s start with my experience in college: my experience went like this;

Freshman- I was a fresh face, excited and ready to take on the world I had a little part time job in where I worked the weekends and some afternoons, while I went to class in the mornings. I still worked out and that’s when I meet my current boyfriend and we have been together since then. Immediately as I started I notice this division between those who were forced to be there and those who wanted to be there. But overall wasn’t much different than high school except for the heighten sense of maturity and responsibility. 

Sophomore year-  At this point things got harder those who were there because of mommy & daddy were dying out with just a few left in each class. The work because harder and more frequent at this point I took afternoon classes and worked all weekend starting Friday ending Sunday night. I still had time to spend with my boyfriend and it was starting to get to a point where I had no time for the gym or friends. Also, my dressing habits began to change I Kind gave myself a uniform of black tights from H&M or Forever21 and a white or black T-shirt with a pair of blue/black Jordan’s (which was the last time I owned Jordan’s to be honest).

Junior year- Now let’s talk about a hot mess, at that point one of my family members became sick and I started a new job called note-taking and I still had my retail job at least for the first semester. So, at that point the majority of all my basic requirements were completed and I was taking classes only in my major which was crazy. Not to mention I had to be in and out of the hospital for that family member (whom now is fine, Thank the heavens). I had no choice but to do it since I’m one of the few English/ Spanish translators in my family, making me the center of all things that happen.  At that point I was so stressed and broken down not just physically because of all he works but mentally because of all the family stress that I almost dropped out of college but luckily, I sought out a counselor. Fortunately, my family member recovered and I was able to pass my classes but my grades suffered.  At the second half I quit my retail job and started to work inside the school, my paycheck deeply suffered but my sanity returned and I was able to raise up my grades more at that point with 2 jobs and the hardest of classes behind me. I also received my associates degree at that time.

Senior year: At this time, I took 2 summer classes to be able to graduate on time, it was hot annoying and killed off my summer but I did what had to be done.

In my senior year, I was getting worried about what my life had instore for me. I knew I hadn’t had any internships because honestly, I couldn’t afford to work for free, I had to work just to have a MetroCard to travel (New York is not easy). I started looking for jobs that would hire me once I was out, I found many options but they all need a Baccalaureate degree which I didn’t have yet. At that point I had no free time all my time went to homework and work my boyfriend was very understanding and he never hassled me about how much I was working but he took care of me as best as he could. At the last semester, I was literally traveling between work classes work and other work and lastly homework. I wouldn’t get home till 11pm if not 12 on some days. At that point one of the directors asked me if I was interested in staying in the College and working as in admin and I of course said yes. I went through with the interview process and before I even graduated, I was working. Given it was only a part- time position but I actually felt relieved to have it. I manage to graduate and work my way up.

Now the disappointments:

It’s hard to be able to move out, I thought that my boyfriend and I could do it together, but I realized he wasn’t ever going to help me I needed to do things on my own. And it’s so hard to even get a room nerveless an apartment so, that didn’t work out. Loans are still around and working out to lose weight has been a rough road. Please a new job that doesn’t involve the college. But there is no such thing as giving up in my world.

The New hope.

Now I hope that my experiences will make great stories to entertain and help you through this world that can be so harsh and unforgiving. Please Look out for more little segments like this coming out soon.

Thank You.